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Taxi Driver: Matchmaker Edition

11 Jun

So I just walked away from a mildly awkward Taxi ride. It started with a bang…..

*BANG* That’s the sound of me smacking my head on the frame of the vehicle. Old hat, seeing as the number of times I’ve hit my head during my three month stay here is already well into the double digits. Nothing to do with the locale though, seeing as I basically dropped myself on my head as a child…

Taxi Driver: Oh sorry! So sorry!(it was quite clear that the blow was not his fault in the slightest, but in true humble Korean fashion…)

We get the usual -“Are you American? No?”- sorting out I’m Canadian – business out-of-the-way(not that I find the mistake particularly bothersome), so then we casually move onto the next most logical topic…

TD: Are you single?

The clear answer in this situation, albeit a lie, is no, but because I have a mental handicap where I lose the ability to lie when it will save me from awkward situations my answer is… 

Me: Yes.

TD: How old are you?

Me: 25

TD: I have a son, he is 23. Marriage, ok?

Me: *nervous laughter* No no.

TD: Ha ok. *motions to head* Head ? *grimace* Sorry so sorry!

Me: No no. No problem.

TD: I have a son, he is 23. Meet tomorrow, ok?

Me: *nervous laughter* No no. I am very busy (doing nothing)

TD: Ok. My son, 23, meet this week, ok?

Me: *nervous laughter* No no. I am very VERY busy (still doing nothing)

TD: Ha ok. You are very beautiful. *motions to head* Head ? *grimace* Sorry so sorry!

Me: No no no. No problem.

TD: I have a son, he is 23. Face good, so gentle! Ok?

Me: It is so sad then that I am so very old! (not really a lie as I don’t think I’d want to date a 23 year old)

TD: Ha ok. You are very beautiful. *motions to head* Head ? *grimace* Sorry so sorry!

Me: No no no no. No problem.

TD: I have a son, he is 23. Churchee! Goes to Catholic church. Ok?

At this point I want to holler,” I don’t care how wholesome and gentle your toddler son is! I don’t ride taxis to pick up!”. But I humbly admit that much like his toddler son, I am gentle(maybe we really are a match made in heaven), and so recycled the reply…

Me: It is so sad then that I am so very old!

TD: Oh! Ok, ok. Me, I am 55. ok?

Luckily by this point I am at my doorstep, so the awkwardness must come to an end. But before I leave the vehicle you wouldn’t guess what he says…

TD: *motions to head* Head ? *grimace* Sorry so sorry!

Who knows, I may have just passed up the baby love of my life.



Taxi Driver

19 Mar

Yes, it may be mildly cretinous that the only way to get myself home at night is by shoving directions to my apartment, which my boss painstakingly typed into my phone, into the face of a taxi cab driver .(In my defense, when I asked for a nearest intersection or street name I was informed that the streets were unnamed until 5 to 10 years ago-cue U2. Thus most people are unaccustomed to using street names, making the process slightly more complicated) And yes, given that I am unable to provide simple directions such as “no not that way”, “left” or “straight ahead”, it would be unrealistic to have expectations of arriving exactly at my apartment.

HOWEVER, no matter what language barriers and cultural differences exist, I feel its safe to assume that logic should dictate that no, my apartment is not located in the dirty dark back alley dumpster of the local hospital, nor would I be visiting a sick friend at 5 am. Really, what good sense would incline you to drop a single female in the back alley of a hospital at that hour of day,  5 to 10 minutes off any road? And more importantly, are you not concerned that my Mc Donalds fries are getting cold? ***

***This being said, taxi service in Korea is awesome! It cost me about 4 dollars no tip to get me home from down town. For the same distance in Toronto it would cost around 16 dollars, plus a tip if you have a heart….